Another concept that I was able to better grasp was that of developing a persona of the customer and directing research and product ideas to the persona's characteristics. My wife is an Account Director at an advertising agency, so I have some understanding of how creative is directed towards a target, but I never got a sense for how it could be applied to product development. I think that when teams come together to develop a new product or service, having a persona makes sense because it not only gives the group a target to think about but it makes the process more fun. We developed the persona of Sam and Buck - the single, affluent dog owner (not Matt M). Sticking to this, enabled us to direct our effort around "what would Sam and Buck" want or need from our service offering? I think it's a great discipline to use; to have a segmentation, but personalization strategy.
5.03.2011
Blog Post #5: Course Reflection
Another concept that I was able to better grasp was that of developing a persona of the customer and directing research and product ideas to the persona's characteristics. My wife is an Account Director at an advertising agency, so I have some understanding of how creative is directed towards a target, but I never got a sense for how it could be applied to product development. I think that when teams come together to develop a new product or service, having a persona makes sense because it not only gives the group a target to think about but it makes the process more fun. We developed the persona of Sam and Buck - the single, affluent dog owner (not Matt M). Sticking to this, enabled us to direct our effort around "what would Sam and Buck" want or need from our service offering? I think it's a great discipline to use; to have a segmentation, but personalization strategy.
3.27.2011
Wal-Mart's Data Deluge
2.20.2011
Paper Topic: What makes a successful customer experience with online services?
2.06.2011
Customer Experience: Amazon for Textbooks
This past semester, I had to purchase two books for my Invisible Global Marketing course, the subject being business in emerging markets. These are not textbooks, but two books co-authored by the professor of the course. Being the cost-conscious student, I first comparison-shopped for these two books at the locations discussed previously. After a store visit to the Co-Op and a few website visits, I determined that these two books were cheapest when purchased from Amazon. I started an order for them at Amazon and added them each to my cart. When I began the checkout process, I realized that Amazon carried one, and could ship to me directly, but the other book was listed by a private seller on Amazon. I first thought this could be a problem, because there could be two transactions, but Amazon handled both purchases in one check out - the book at Amazon, and it handled the other with the private seller. Amazon's book was new, but for the other at the private seller, Amazon indicated what condition the book was in: New, Used, Like-New, Or Very Good condition, and the price differed for each variation. Additionally, for each one, I was given an estimated ship date, and length of time for delivery based on the shipping method I chose. I soon found out that both books would arrive at my house within a day of each other, although in separate shipments. I felt delighted that I could save about $15 off these two books versus other avenues such as the Co-Op, so I went ahead and placed an order. When each arrived about 5 days later, each arrived with a receipt from Amazon and the other seller and the Amazon book came with a return shipping label. Each was in the condition described in the listing.
Despite securing these books, I was forced to drop the class a week into the semester because of a scheduling conflict with a required course. I decided to return the books but I felt that this could be a problem. Would I be double-hit for shipping charges? Would Amazon and the other seller accept the return? Would any of the books be damaged or lost in the mail? The return at Amazon proved to be super easy. I didn't have to call or email anyone, I just simply indicated on my web check out form from my order that I was returning them. The return form sent me a return label for the other book. I put both in the mail and received a confirmation about a week later that both were received and a return credit issued, including the shipping charges for the return. Looking back on this entire transaction with Amazon, the whole experience seemed relatively painless; both finding, shipping, contacting Amazon afterwards, and returning the books. From my perspective, these are the important elements of my exchange with Amazon:
Ease in locating items
Low pricing and shipping costs versus other alternatives
Felt the shipping time was good relative to the cost
Ability to purchase from a variety of sellers, not just Amazon
Ability to quickly communicate with Amazon regarding the return (simple web page handled return)
Effortless return process, simple label priting at home, although I still had to go to the Post Office to mail the package
Fair credit for exchange policy
Why was this so? Analyzing the entire customer experience with elements of the Experiential Marketing Framework explains this.
There are five elements to this framework:
Sense: appealing to the senses, and used to differentiate the company or motivate customers.
Feel: appeals to to customers inner feels and emotions, with the objective to create affective experiences.
Think: appeals to the intellect. This engages the customer with creative problem solving experiences.
Act: enriches customers' lives by showing them alternative ways of doing things.
Relate: contains some of the above aspects but expands to customers feeling of an ideal self, other people, or cultures.
From my perspective, my Amazon experience touched on the Feeling, Thinking and Relational aspects of the Experiential Marketing Framework. These three categories encompass much of what I value from the exchange with Amazon. The competitive pricing and shipping costs and times all relate to my inner feeling regarding saving on expenses and how that just feels good for a consumer, especially with a web transaction - where cost and shipping are the main differentiators - the same items can be found at many sources. My ability to engage in one transaction with multiple sellers through Amazon, the ease of communication regarding the return and the effortless return process definitely falls into the Thinking category, as these aspects are all ways that Amazon showed me a creative way of completing a tast. (Amazon handled the sale for me with the other vendor, coordinated shipping, included a return label, and made it easy to print the other). Lastly, considering how I feel about the entire experience includes comparing this experience to previous dealing with Amazon, also comparing to other sellers, and comparing to what I feel is an ideal fair transaction. These three elements stem from the Relational aspect of the Experiential Marketing Framework.
1.31.2011
My Persona: The Asipring, Soon-To-Be Graduate
Personality:
"People say I'm a creative, free-thinker, apt to try that next experience."
"I hope that we can buy a house in the next five years."
"Not an empty nest for long: we're saving for that eventual baby."
"Success to me is spending quality time with my wife, kids, and work - in that order."
"People in America spend and eat too much. I try not to emulate this!"
"Selective social bug: Quality over quantity counts with friends."
"Starting and running a business is a life goal for me."
"I love technology that makes life easier; coolness is less of a factor that functionality though."
"I'm a member of a wine club and enjoy wine tasting with my wife."
"Eating organically is a goal, but we don't have the $$$ to do it 100% of the time."
"Staying physically active is a bug for me."
Demographics:
34
Male
Married
Graduate education
Apartment living situation
Business Professional
$90,000 annual income
No credit cards
Lifestyle:
Audio / Video:
2 Laptops at home
Addicted to Netflix
Still use that turntable to play records, although MP3s rule
I have a good digital camera but should have taken a photography class!
Sports and Fitness:
Skiing
Golf
Tennis
Gym rat: I love a good workout
Connoisseur:
Wine tasting
Travel - usually local, it's all we can afford right now
Art shows, checking out a new exhibit at the museum
We eat out selectively, but mostly enjoy cooking at home
European soccer
Outdoors and Home Life:
Hiking
Camping
Looking foward to having a dog around the house
2.09.2009
There is a reason I was laid off...
Simply because of the start of World Cup soccer...well at least some big friendlies, and some big qualifiers:
Tuesday: Brazil vs. Italy (Friendly)
Wednesday: Argentina vs. France (Friendly)
England vs. Spain (Friendly w/ Becks included)
U.S. vs. Mexico (1st final round qualifier for 2010)
= Huge.
2.02.2009
The Path Forward
Now that my experience at the "world's biggest bank failure" is complete, I sit home pondering my next move, although with much optimism. I'm recently married and turned 32 over the weekend, (if the year isn't a milestone it is in my case). The confluence of all these events has given me a little more cognizance for the future. Or at least a sense of its importance...
It's a tough economy sure; many of my friends were laid off...not only those at WaMu. Everyone has been affected in some way, shape, or form. We're all cutting back in our lives; the "culture of excess in America" is over- or at least I hope it to be. Of course I have to get a job at some point, but given my experience to date, I feel that I can be a little more patient this go round, at least now, to try and mold the career I want to step into.
Something along the lines of:
Finance - I have extensive experience in this to date, and seek to leverage on it.
Strategy - have recent events not enforced the importance of a sound one?
Service / Giving Back - because business can't all be about profits; rather I feel it serves a greater purpose.
So while you all may get in touch with me and think my days are all about Far Cry 2 on the PS3, Fox Soccer Channel, or the Gym...that's only partially the case. I plan on keeping you updated.
PS: Thanks to Adam S. B., Esq for the idea.
10.01.2008
Bailout? An idea full of idiocy.
And middle class America shouldn't pay for it...
Don't bail out bad CEOs and poor business models. They took on the risk, so make them suffer the consequences. Banking is like haircuts, or doctors. We always will need it. The banking institutions may fail, but the service can't go away. There will be some other healthier bank that will take over if one cannot operate.
The amount we're talking about putting towards this bailout ($700M) is MORE than what we've spent in the Iraq so far, minus the lives...
If the mortgages the government buys from these banks go bad, then the middle class will pay in the future in the form of higher taxes, lower social programs, etc...
Do we really think this is fair that the President etc are telling the Senate and House to sign a bill or ELSE financial armageddon will occur? How much sound judgement is happening with that? And this is coming from the same guy (Bush) who said we needed to invade Iraq.
9.30.2008
Sorry readers, it's been awhile...but I'm back
Top 5 Reasons You Know the Economy is in Shambles:
#5 - You just spent 30 minutes "rebalancing your 401K / IRA"…which can be summarized in 5 seconds as "a mad sell off." Yet it feels GOOD...
#4 - Next career option could involve the world "Canada"
#3 - You realize no one has any answers…politicians, economists, Bush, anybody. Oh and you want to punch Jim Cramer in the face.
#2 - You're weary of Bush trying "leave a legacy" on his presidency with Bailout…"worst president ever" is now a given. (9/11, IRAQ, Katrina, Economy)
#1 - Greatest job ever? It is very likely that the stress of the economy will likely cause mortal health problems for the president...and vice president.
8.29.2008
POLITICS
What do you think of McCain's VP Pick? My first thought is that it came out of the blue...1st term Governor of Alaska. And given the Ted Steven's issues, probably not a good association. Mitt would have been a better pick, however Palin could peel off some of Hillary's supporters.
Awesome website you should check out:
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/
It's basically a portal for every major story related to this election season. And it's the most up to date resource I've found. Take a look at the Electoral Maps between McCain and Obama. Take out the "Toss Up States" and you'll see how close this race is at this point:
Obama: 273
McCain: 265
that's a dead heat.
Will be tuning into the RNC next week...just to complete my "political spectrum"
8.27.2008
WHO IS: Turd Ferguson?
Burt Reynolds: "Hey. Hey, ah... check out the podium. Look at this."
Alex Trebeck: "Mr. Reynolds has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson."
Burt Reynods: "Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name."
They go back and forth arguing which ends with:
Alex Trebeck: "I hate my job!"
8.26.2008
QUESTION OF DAY:
YOUR TAKE?
Great Article about the Olympic side of things:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4582421.ece
8.25.2008
THIS WEEK:
The Beijing Olympics are over: While Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, and the Redeem Team made most of the headlines, it was also exciting to see our performance in Beach and Indoor Volleyball for both the Men's and Women's teams (commence global domination NOW). I've also discovered an appreciation for waterpolo. Boy that sport is exciting to watch - it is rough! (What goes on above the water, is MUCH different from what is below: "hey this guy is going to shoot on goal, I am just going to straight kick him in the nuts!"
The US OPEN tennis tournament begins: It's my favorite tournament to watch of the year: the fans at the night sessions in NY are absolutely crazy. I think James Blake and Andy Roddick will be the crowd favorites...yet Nadal / Federer are the favorites to win.
Democratic National Convention is held: I'm excited about Barack's VP pick and we'll see if the Obama-Biden duo can effectively convey a message of unity. I've also read that the Denver Convention is also "Politicians Gone Wild with Spending" which is too bad. Oh and the race is effectively tied now: chance of Obama winning two months ago: 75%+.
Now? 50%.
8.21.2008
DUMB MOVE OF THE WEEK: Chinese gymnast, age "16", He
"Look mommy, cheating is for winners!"
WHO IS: Mr. Sparkle?
Mr. Sparkle is a character from one of my favorite Simpsons epsidoes, "In Marge We Trust." Homer takes the kids to the landfill to dispose of the Christmas tree. While there he comes across a box of detergent with asian writing on it. The product's character looks like him. Of course he finds this weird, so he ends up calling the manufacturer in Japan for information on it. He gets a video in the mail of one of the Mr. Sparkle commericials. It's strange but ends up explaining that Mr. Sparkle is the result of the merging of two large Japanese companies: Tamaribuchi Matsumura Fishworks and Heavy Manufacturing Concern. Their mascots are a fish and a lightbulb, and the combination of these two forms Mr. Sparkle. So Homer discovers the resemblance is just a coincedence.
Watch Here:
http://www.blogger.com/www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzSRHtkSNPs
Mr. Sparkle Taglines:
"Mr. Sparkle is disrespectful of dirt."
"Mr. Sparkle is a magnet for foodstuffs...he will banish food particles to the land of wind and ghosts."
8.18.2008
PEOPLE I WOULD FIGHT...If I saw them walking down the street
1. Bob Costas - I've hated Bob Costas as long as I've watched sports on NBC. This guy always seems to host the biggest sporting events on NBC: any game with Michael Jordan, the Kentucky Derby, the World Series, anything with Tiger Woods, the 2008 Summer Olympics. Bob Costas reminds me a little of Matt Lauer for sports. He always seems to focus on the drama, and frequently proclaims athletes as "the greatest player of all time" or "playing the greatest game of his or her life." It's as if Bob is seeking the greatest athletes...but it's just that he only seems to consider the emotion of game in the present, but not all the rest of history and other players. Further, in the Olympics, Mr. Costas seems to curtail the rest of the world's athletes for only those wear the red, white, and blue.
Recent annoying moment: when Bob Costas interviewed President George Bush at the Olympics and asked him if #1 "the Olympics had legitimized the Chinese government to the rest of the world" and then awkwardly transitioned to #2 "what is your take on the doping allegations in US baseball?"
Fact: I just heard someone in the office elevator complaining about him.
2. Donald Trump - How many times do we need to see Mr. Trump's scowl and comb over in the Apprentice boardroom? And who was his secretary? The Apprentice is worthless when teaching the virtues of business. Just ask anyone who's work email address ends in .com. So is this guy.
Recent annoying moment: Every season of The Apprentice when he proclaims: "if you win this, you get to work with ME."
3. Dude that hosts "Survivor" - Now I don't even know this guy's name, but I will tell you he sucks BIG TIME. For one, reality television blows, is a drain on society, and this guy plays up week after week on CBS in the show's format that never seems to change. Please help us, when will Survivor get old? When they run out of exotic locations and are resorted to "Survivor: Compton" ? Mr. Survivor host guy, the tribal council has spoken...you're going down.
4. Joe Rogan - I have no first hand experience with Joe as a comedian. He may be funny. My opinion of Joe Rogan stems from his persona as a host of Ultimate Fighting Events (UFC). He's always in a black shirt with blue jeans and black shoes, a big watch on his left wrist that's always pretentiously displayed. He looks like he's about to go clubbing after the event in Vegas. Then he'll get in the ring after each fight and ask something of the loser so ridiculous as "Now what did it feel like when he was pounding you unmercifully?" But what's most annoying is the way that he has a high pitched voiced, frequently yells about each combatent, and holds the microphone up to his mouth so he resembles doing a bicep curl at the gym. Joe Rogan, I hate you.
Recent annoying moments: UFCs 55 through present, UFC 88
5. Clay Bennett - This guy is the second coming of Big Country Bryant Reeves. And he stole our team (the Seattle Supersonics) and then in the midst of it all he is dismayed because he "wasn't liked in our town anymore." Huh? Really? I'd have to throw in this bucket a little extra credit if Clay Bennett and David Stern were ever walking down the street together, possibly hand in hand? Well anyways, I'd give Clay a swift kick the spleen, and Stern would receive a round house left to the grill. 'Nuff said.
My Perspective on Phelps' accomplishment
8.14.2008
OLYMPICS: My changes to the sports lineup
Reason: Olympic soccer is the opportunity for our U-23 team to tune up for the World Cup. I don't agree with the reporters on espn.com and cnnsi.com about this. The summer Olympics fall between World Cups and the US doesn't have a competition of Euro caliber, which falls the same year. Also the qualifying for the Olympics is driven by other major continental tournaments, and it is important to hold such tournaments. It's a tune up for the US, and we're definitely competitive. But one thing I'd change is make a rule that the 3 players that can be above 23 years old must be released from their clubs for the Olympics. Club soccer can wait.
2. Get rid of softball, keep baseball - They are already getting rid of both, although 3 years ago softball and baseball were nearly reinstated. (It was 1 vote shy of reinstating them).
Reason: It's just not competitive. The US softball team has dominated all opponents. Before yesterday, the cumulative run tally in softball was something like 55 to 1. Baseball on the other hand IS competitive, and I'm sorry it is being eliminated. Cuba, Japan, Central American teams, and the US are power houses.
3. Add golf - I'm not sure of the format for it, but possibly a team like, Ryder cup competition could work versus head to head.
Reason: It's truly an international sport. The world plays golf.
Other changes:
4. Don't let the host country verify the ages of its athletes (Chinese women's gymanstic team). Given what everyone is saying, this could blow up. Meaning if this is really investigated and China in fact issued false documentation, then it would tarnish the image of the host nation.
5. Improve Coverage format - Show the Olympics on cable channels devoted to it when the events are live. I laugh everytime NBC's Bob Costas says "Michael Phelps on next, Live" yet I already know the outcome after seeing it live on the Canadian channel. Thank goodness for Canadian coverage. So much better.
And actually I laugh at Bob Costas altogether...although that's another post.
8.12.2008
REASONS why the ipod falls short
#2 - The one function click wheel - it's annoying that every function except the hold function on the ipod is controlled by one wheel. It was revolutionary with its design, but I don't like it. Especially when I'm listening to a song and I want to adjust the volume, fast forward, or change the EQ settings. Changing the EQ settings requires going back to "Settings" a few screens, and with sweaty hands at the gym, this can be difficult to do. When trying to skip forward a mixed cd (yes I listen to DJ music often) half the time I don't fast forward, but end up rating the song, or adjusting the volume altogether. At the very lease, the volume should be a separate control.
#3 - Limited colors - Only the new nano is offered in any color scheme. But if you want the full functioning ipod (with video) you can't get the colors and it is larger.
# 4- Lack of wireless headphones - so apple can invent the brilliant iphone, but not come up with a set of wireless headphones? Doesn't make sense. The headphones that are provided are sub par, and new ones can cost $$$. So maybe apple isn't working on this. In that case, then they should partner with another company who is. Cool, great sounding wireless headphones should be standard.
# 5 - itunes blows - Let me get this straight: I can only update my ipod on MY COMPUTER with MY ITUNES ACCOUNT? What if I'm over at a friend's house and I want to erase, or add a song cause I just bought a new cd? Or I'm at work? Shouldn't I be able to log in to itunes online and update using his or any computer? (I promise I won't steal any music.) Also converting songs sucks and the fact that you can only get song titles when you're hooked up to the internet is frustrating. Aren't song titles stored on the CD itself? And the way it organizes songs by artist can cause for multiple listings for the same artist. Example: for instance when a song is something like MIA featuring Timbaland - this is listed separate from MIA, even though it is from MIA's CD. Apple could definitely put together more user friendly software...
* Well that's it for my ipod gripes. Hopefully either S. Jobs or CNET is listening.
8.11.2008
Major Problems with E-Mail today
A few things I would change about today's email culture are as follows:
1. If you're receiving more than 50 emails a day, you need to reevaluate your job or how your company works. It's what is called "Information Overload." You don't want to fall into half your day being spent responding to emails, especially if they involve projects to do and you never seem to get to the bottom of your inbox.
2. Stress face time versus email communication. If anything, someone should try to see a customer or colleague in person in a meeting versus sending an email message. If you can't see the person face to face due to time or location differences, consider picking up the phone over sending an email.
3. Remember that you affect how your company values email communication. So be wary of how others work versus how you do, and think twice about sending an email. Because it may cause others to use it more too.
4. Avoid "flame mail." Flame mail is the term for someone expressing discontent or anger over email in response. And usually, flame mails involve words that one person wouldn't say to another if speaking face to face. Consider how you treat others when sending email. If anything, call a meeting or pick up the phone.
5. Consider changing your email habits. Some things I would suggest is checking your inbox at only certain times of the day, or sending email only as an "FYI basis." Again, you have to determine how you want email to be apart of your career.
6. Don't needlessly cc: others. This happens far too often in the workplace. People think others are in the know just because they were copied on an important email. This adds to the email volume. I can't recall how many times I've been in a meeting discussion to hear someone ask questions about the subject matter only to be told, "didn't you get that email? you were copied on it." Simply copying someone on an email doesn't imply they are now on the same page as you. People have different schedules. Consider telling them in person or over the phone to get your point across.
Email: It's a communication tool, not a job.
8.08.2008
DUMB MOVE OF THE WEEK: John Edwards
A Quick Synopsis of the Political Career of John Reid Edwards:
1998:
Becomes North Carolina Senator
2004:
Vice Presidential Candidate with John Kerry. If it weren't for Ohio, they would have won.
2004:
Wife is diagnosed with cancer
2008:
Runs as Presidential Candidate on platform of helping poverty, earns 26 delegates, drops out, later, most important endorsement of Barack Obama
August 2008:
Admits to extramarital affair with campaign worker.
August 2008:
Would have spoken at Democratic National Convention if it weren't for above.
(end political career)
EARTH TO OBAMA: Pick your VP
So get on with it Barack. If you screw this election up...well I don't know...cause it was handed to you on a silver platter: (let me remind you)
1. Economy in Shambles
4. Took out Hillary
So pick someone. Heck, here's an easy list for you. While you're soaking up some Vitamin D, take a look through your Ray Bans and circle one of these names. Fax it to the Washington Post. Get the word out so we can rest easy. Call this person with "you're it." Figure out the country's problems together. GO, FIGHT, WIN!
Obama's EZ VP List
Instructions: Circle One name below, fax
Biden
Kaine
Oprah
Edwards
Hillary
Gore
Hagel
Powell
Kobe
P-Diddy
G. Clooney
Homer
8.06.2008
LeRoy Bell and His Only Friends
http://www.leroybell.com/
LOSING A MAJOR STAR: LeBron James to Europe?
I see a couple issues with this. One is that the salaries of professional athletes are WAY TOO HIGH...although I cannot hope to change that with anything I will ever do. Someone getting paid $100K or more to play basketball or any sport for that matter, just doesn't make sense to me. Much less what James "would consider" to play for Europe. Or Jordan in 1997-98, or David Beckham's salary in the MLS. Yet, people watch sports, television ratings go up, companies pay for the television advertising, apparel sells, sports teams take a cut, so athletes get paid more...or given this, athletes CAN be paid so much. If no one watched, different story. But we do.
Yet, for all the .0001% of kids who will end up as LeBron James, the other 99.9999% will end up NOT PLAYING PROFESSIONAL SPORTS and will have to get normal jobs...so shouldn't we be investing into them instead?
Forget trying to change the world. The other issue I see is that the NBA model won't work long term if European teams are able to sign stars because they aren't restricted by a salary cap. There's really no loyalty in sports anymore, and if Europe can offer more money, eventually the players will follow.
8.01.2008
DUMB MOVE OF THE WEEK
So consider for a moment: You are one of the Major League's best players, have been since you entered the league in '96 (you've led in HRs, RBIs, and Runs), with a multi-million dollar contract anchoring one of the best teams, a 12 time All-Star, a collection of cars and houses, and two kids with wife shown below:
So I have a question: You couldn't make this one work? And what exactly does "irretrievably broken" mean? Is it really that bad?
Instead of "retrieving", you'd rather be up at all hours with the former Material Girl chatting about goodness knows what. (probably some half witted religion and how Guy Ritchie "isn't the man he used to be") Hello! Where is THAT going? Although it is a paparazzi's dream...A-Rod, buddy, if you don't step up to the plate with C-Rod soon, you're at risk of losing half of everything you own that is material. Think about your two kids, Natasha and Ella. With names like that, a divorce will raise the odds one of them ends up "working the pole" by 67%. So if anything, do it for the kids!
Therefore, you have earned my word of the day: C-O-U-N-S-E-L-I-N-G
So let me get this straight? You'd rather enter a newfound life of singlehood? Well play ball with that. Cause I'm sure that after whatever nasty divorce proceedings slice through your wealth like a sushi ginsu knife, then throngs of single women will begin looking at you for who you truly are, rather than all the fruits of your success. AH-SO!
Good Luck A-Rod.
7.30.2008
When it's More Appropriate to txt msg
Now don't get me wrong, I do answer my phone. But sometimes I will admit I don't pick it up and instead reply back with a text. And over time, this has sort of built up as a trend, and I know some of you have gotten pissed. A few replies I've heard to this are as follows:
"Jason, you're the only one who has a text only plan for your cell phone."
"I'm sick of calling you only to get a text in return. Why don't you be cool and call me back?"
"Texting is for losers."
Alright so here's the rub...or my rules for texting in response: (in most cases)
1. Public places - bars / restaurants / coffee / the bus: I'm not a big fan when people are in the Starbucks line in front of me yelling into their iphone something annoying like: "Hey man what's up? What are you doing? Nothing. You? Getting coffee." OR "I'm soooo hungover...Ozzies was crazy last night...Phi Beta Sigz were in da house!" OR "What? What? I can't hear y...you...you're breaking up" Or any other needless banter. I can't tell you how many times I've ridden the bus with that one person who thinks it is cool to use their cell phone, interrupting the peace of all other riders. To those guilty of this: Do you or don't you realize that everyone else on the bus now knows about the appointment you're making to check out that rash, how your boss has you down and you hate your job, or how your ailing grandma is doing? Spare me! So at least I'll consider YOU when I talk...hence my rule here.
2. When call involves quick coordination - Anything that involves a one or two word response to such things as: What time to meet up for happy hour? Who's coming? What's the address? Doesn't require a call. Because it takes more time to dial, connect, and talk than for my text message to hit your handheld. And if the individual you're trying to contact follows Rule #1, well, then we have a problem, don't we?
3. When you want to avoid getting cancer - Ha! But seriously, doctors are beginning to warn the public about this, although the Cell Phone Business Association of America doesn't think anything is wrong with putting a microwave emitting device up to your ear for prolonged periods of time. Whatever. Well I don't want my ear to start looking like John McCain's cheek.
* If you are texting while doing any of the following YOU'RE A MORON: (article and poll from today on msnbc.com)
Anything at the Gym
Driving (unless of course you're in the state of Washington, where you can't talk while driving so texting a bit more discreet, although illegal as well)
Walking
Running
Rollerblading
Riding a bicycle
Riding a unicycle
Riding a horse
Riding a lawn mower
Tennis
Putting on makeup
Cooking
Karate
Shaving
Sex
7.25.2008
LIFE CHECK: When to be Wary of the House Next Door
A few guidelines on when you should be alarmed at who's living next door. These MAY or MAY NOT be true to where I live...I'll leave that up to you. Consider what applies, and if any, be thankful you're a renter (temporary) versus just having plunked down all of your savings towards that "nice house on the block."
- You can't remember the last time you saw the same person come in or out.
- Mystery smells frequently waft over the fence. Described to you as "something's definitely going on over there."
- When you witness a ouija board being carried inside.
- Little shop of horrors has taken over their "garden" and tunnel under your fence.
- Neighbors often seen climbing on roof with beers on nights other than July 4th.
- Lawn was scrapped years ago for small dirt field.
- They supposedly pay to receive the newspaper but never seem to retrieve it from the driveway...and the collection grows.
- You begin to question how they hold jobs given the schedules they live by.
- They have given a new meaning to duplex: Your house has one front door, theirs: four.
.
.
7.24.2008
NEWS: Giuliani's Son is a Baby and Brett Favre: Do We Care?
So Andrew Giuliani is suing Duke University over wrongful dismissal from its golf team. The coach had to cut the team down to 13 players (from what I don't know, so how good Andrew really is, well isn't apparent) and poor Andrew didn't make that list. So in 198 pages of what I'm sure is mind numbling bafoonery, he's suing, claiming getting cut from the Duke University golf team interferes with his "plans to become a professional golfer."
HELLO? Andrew, buddy, IF you want to be a professional golfer, you don't have to go to college to do that. College sports involve my word of the day: AMATEURS. If you are really THAT GOOD, well you could drop everything (including your classes, binge drinking, and sketchy hookups) and leave Durham, NC immediately for the pros. Because if you are THAT GOOD, you can apply for that tour card pronto. (Think of guy named Tiger and school named Stanford.) Being on some collegiate golf team doesn't equate to becoming a professional later, only that you received some cushy athletic scholarship to help pad your personal finances post graduation in that cushy career you'll get for being the former major of New York City's son.
* If he wins this lawsuit, every person who's been fired has grounds to sue his or her former employer because getting canned "interfered with plans of being CEO"
"Your honor, objection to grounds of lawsuit."
"SUSTAINED."
Also just reported: "Report: Brett Favre does not have Packers issued cell phone"
Wow, this is definitely front page worthy (it was at 9:35 AM on espn.com)...Is anyone following la saga de Favre to this level of detail? If the jr. reporter couldn't immediately post this on the internet and had to put it in print, I think he would have thought twice about the waste of time it is.
Tomorrow's headline: "Report: Brett Favre didn't take pee in Packers locker room"
7.23.2008
MY TOP TEN: Indications our Economy is in Shambles
National Forest Service's Economic Recession Danger Level:
(Smokey says: "remember kids, times are TOUGH!")
#10 - Your company's loss per share is greater than its stock price.
#9 - Bars have scaled back Happy Hour to 1 hour only and have removed the late night session entirely.
#8 - Your Home Equity Line of Credit gets revoked while you're on the way to Best Buy for that new flat screen.
#7 - You consider either not smoking or not driving. (gallon of gas = pack of cigarettes)
#6 - The interest rate on your credit card approaches 30% because your credit score dipped below 720.
#5 - Dinner at TGI Friday's is now gourmet.
#4 - You begin scheming on how to use slugs at the laundromat again, like you did in college.
#3 - You have to walk across the street, because your usual Starbucks was closed.
#2 - You hear more about "the Fed" than "K-Fed" in the news.
#1 - The guy getting ready next to you at the gym has drug store brand toothpaste in his dop kit.
7.21.2008
Choice Summer Cocktails
Nothing inspires happy hours more than a little afternoon sun. For locales, see list of "decks." Here's my favorite summer cocktails:
Mojito:
a traditional Cuban highball cocktail
degree of mixology difficulty: 3 out of 5
1.5 oz rum
12 fresh spearmint leaves
1/2 lime / Rose's sweetened lime juice
7 oz club soda'
2 tbsp. simple syrup(or 4 tsp. sugar)
* Bartender made E-Z: roll up mint leaves tightly to release flavor and cut roll into narrow slices. Combine sliced mint, rum, and sliced lime to a highball glass. Add a few cubes of ice and crush well with the mixture. Add soda water and sweeten to taste with Rose's or simple syrup or powdered sugar.
* While enjoying: queue Afro-Cuban sounds and don your best Che' tee
Sangria:
a wine punch from Spain and Portugal
degree of mixology difficulty: 3.5 out of 5
Per 1 gallon of sangria: (and this recipe is by no means scientific)
1 bottle of red wine, preferably a cabernet (not too heavy in taste)
1 bottle of rose'
some white wine (a cup or two)
1/2 cup ginger ale
1/2 cup orange juice
can of pineapple, sliced with juices
5 oz vodka
2 limes - sliced
2 oranges - sliced
1 lemon - sliced
1 cup sliced strawberries
* Bartender made E-Z: Best when prepared 24 to 48 hours before drinking. Combine all sliced citrus fruit, pineapple, orange juice and wine into an iced tea jug. Squeeze citrus slightly when adding to get juices out. Put into fridge and mix every couple of hours. After about 12 hours, add strawberries and vodka. Liquor to taste. Continue to mix and keep in fridge. Before serving, add ginger ale and sweeten to taste with sugar. Serve over ice.
Caipirinha:
national drink of Brazil / national drink of Inigo Rodriguez
degree of mixology difficulty: 2.5 out of 5
degree of sugar content: high
2 tsp Granulated Sugar
1 Lime (8 Wedges)
2 1/2 oz Cachaca (product of distilled sugarcane juice)
* Bartender made E-Z: Muddle the sugar into the lime wedges in an old fashioned glass. Fill the glass with ice cubes, add Cachaca and stir well.
* Best enjoyed while watching Brazil's national game or the Superclasico (screaming at tele)
(thanks to Jordon for suggesting this one after his recent trip of company sponsored debauchery)
YOUR TAKE: Oklahoma City "Thunder"
News just in from the the professional monopolistic sports league controlled by David Stern: the former Sonics basketball team will be called the Oklahoma City Thunder.
Q1: Is the new name cool? Or does it sound like something out of the WNBA or the XFL? And does it make sense?
Seattle = Boeing = Supersonic = the Sonics. (checks out)
vs.
Oklahoma City = Cowboys = Cattle Rustlers = Team Rustlers? ($#%@?)
Q2: Does Clay Bennett look like Bryant "Big Country" Reeves (former OK St. "standout", the NBA definition of mediocrity)? (that's if CB gained about 40 lbs) Or does he simply just have the same #2 haircut?
Q3: Still bitter?
* A good point I overheard at happy hour: It seems to me with the history of the NBA, that the league would have done everything to preserve its legacy. (for example the NBA logo = Jerry West, not Jordan, Kobe, or LeBron) Preserving history should have been of the utmost importance. The 41 years in Seattle for that matter. But it wasn't.
Absolutely brilliant quotes by Clay Bennett:
1. "We're already investing in an economic model that doesn't provide a return" Seattle Times Interview, May 20th, 2007.
* This makes little to no sense coming from a businessman. Put it simply: if I said this at work, I'd get FIRED. An investment is never undertaken without some projection of a return. Otherwise, there's no point. They teach that fact to elementary age Junior Achievement students! (Clay was responding to a question about why his group doesn't pony up some of the money to get a $500 million arena in Renton, WA)
I can't believe what he said here. What I can believe is that with an investment of this magnitude that he had ample financial analysts and bankers there to develop a financial model for the business. And further they determined the cost of the lease in Seattle WASN'T the main reason the team lost money...given the annual lease cost in Seattle was around the same amount as what we paid for Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis. (the real truth is "winning" in SEA or "only game in town" in OKC = profitability) Let's face it folks, the NBA is a broken business model.
* As for the coming Howard Schultz / Yarmuth lawsuit I wish I could say to Clay & Co. like Ivan Drago did in Rocky IV, "You will lose" but I can't. For now, THE TEAM IS GONE. In the meantime, Schultzy should close all Starbucks in the "Big Friendly" city.
7.18.2008
"Reality TV": The Best and Worst Shows Ever
Note to Readers: Slight RANT to follow
I'll admit that I'm not a fan of reality television at all. I think it's just needless competition and somewhat scripted drama for the amusement of fans. And there's not much redeeming value other than entertainment...(if you can all remember William Hung on "American Idol", you catch my drift). Even the creator of CBS's "Survivor" admits the shows aren't entirely "reality" because the producers create the situations the contestants are put in. But don't let me change your TV viewing habits...
So here's my list of the BEST (maybe OK is better fitting) and WORST shows reality TV has spawned:
WORST:
#1: Temptation Island (absolute worst) - this was a cross between a Sandals resort ad and soft porn...and the host is almost as cool as Marky Mark (Mark L. Walberg)
#2: Flavor of Love - Hey Flav, what time is it? Anything with Flavor Flav should make you consider this guy sang "9-1-1 is a Joke" and wore timepiece necklaces..."It's the Flav-a, Life Save-a"?
#3: The Apprentice - the way that the contestants approach business siutations is entirely unrealistic. And in "reality" you succeed in business only when you work together as a team. Not eliminate each other. Furthermore, who wants to look at the boardroom scenes when Trump's "comb over" is the size of a wave on the North Shore of Hawaii?
#4: Bachelor / Bachelorette - All you have to ask yourself is: how many "couples" have actually made it with this one? Contestants vying for their mate usually contain ample evidence of "baggage" or "skeletons in the closet." This show is like a glorified "ElimiDate" (which receives unhonorable mention)
#5: The Swan - just Google "swan before and after photos" and you'll see why. SCARY!
BEST: (or Of Containing Some Redeeming Value)
#1: Biggest Loser - I call this the "life-spent-television-watching offset show." However any time you have contestants trying to lose weight it's altogether a good thing. There's a lot of emotion with the contestants...because the results are truly a life changer.
#2: Extreme Makeover - Home Edition - again, this is a life changer. It definitely makes a difference. Although my one gripe with this show is that they help only 1 family per episode but if they would scale down the 5+ flat screens, designer faucets, and 6 bedrooms they provide for them, then maybe they could help 2 or more families. (My other one is that main host guy gets so fired up he seems to turn purple.)
Of course, it is likely very few will watch if the average suburban dwelling were built for the family:
"Daddy, look! They saved that family cause Grimace and crew built a house for them just like ours!"
*** More to Follow ***
7.17.2008
What NOT TO DO at the range or on the course...
#1 And the list starts with Sir Charles Barkley. Perhaps the most famous person with the most famous worst swing. It's downright crap. For all this guy's famous friends, money, and free time you would think he could complete a golf swing without something like three hitches in it. (Count 'em). It doesn't take Butch Harmon to analyze this one...I can't even figure out in this picture if he's on his take-back or his down-swing. But his weight is about 80% on his front foot and both knees are bent like he's ready to spring for a rebound. Reality to Chuck: WRONG SPORT. This is just rubbish.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU
>>>To my opinions here, "I may be wrong, but I doubt it."
EPL
Just one month to start of the English Premier League campaign.
EPL TRIVIA: 42 teams have competed in the EPL at one time or another (think promotion / relegation). 20 teams play in it per season. But only FOUR teams have won the championship:
Arsenal
Blackburn Rovers
Chelsea
Manchester United
I'd say that's an interesting fact.
This point is definitely debatable but many regard the Premiership as the preeminent Eurpean football league, surpassing Italy's Serie A and Spain's La Liga.
7.16.2008
WHO IS THIS GUY? mikel arteta
"It's still my ambition to play for Spain."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXYEoaGAmC4&feature=related
Calorie Sticker Shock
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25464987/
My hats off to New York City for requiring eateries to post the calories on their food products to customers. I've been saying for years that if you regularly consume any food product in the glass case at Starbucks "you'll begin to wear it over time." (Further, that any "coffee drink" that takes more than 3 seconds to order is in the same category.) I call it the "Starbucks 10" similar to college's "Freshman 10." I surmise that once restaurants start to lose customers to your Aunt Bee's home cookin, you'll see calorie counts detailed in small print.
Common complaint: "Son of a...Why can't I lose weight? I go to the gym 4 times a week and eat this here pecan crusted chicken salad from TGI Fridays and wash it down with a Two Pump, Extra Whip, one Splenda Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks every day!!!"
(read: gym < "healthy salad" + "fancy SBUX") Sounds as if similar laws are set to go into effect in the Emerald City.
YOUR TAKE: A Long Lost Twin Brother?
...Take a look. Comments?
1. Alexander Hleb (Belarus soccer player) and Willem Dafoe (Actor, Klaus in Life Aquatic)
2. Michael Ballack (German / Chelsea soccer player) and Marky Mark Wahlberg (of Funky Bunch fame, not-so-famous song: "Good Vibrations")
3. Kyle Korver (NBA, Jazz) and Ashton Kutcher (Actor in terrible films, also Bruce Willis "thorn in side")
* LINK O' DAY: In honor of my list, I give you:
http://www.splitting-images.com/celebrity_list.html
Now I must admit, some of these are pretty good (V. Beckham, Ricky Gervais, B. Spears ones) but some suck (Eric Cantona, Paris Hilton)...Have a look! BTW, the woman who used to cut my hair looked just like P. Hilton.
**JUST ADDED: (my 2nd tier LINK O' DAY):
http://www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com/