When it's More Appropriate to txt msg

MY LIFE EXPLAINED: "Jason, why don't you ever answer your phone?"

Now don't get me wrong, I do answer my phone. But sometimes I will admit I don't pick it up and instead reply back with a text. And over time, this has sort of built up as a trend, and I know some of you have gotten pissed. A few replies I've heard to this are as follows:

"Jason, you're the only one who has a text only plan for your cell phone."
"I'm sick of calling you only to get a text in return. Why don't you be cool and call me back?"
"Texting is for losers."

Alright so here's the rub...or my rules for texting in response: (in most cases)

1. Public places - bars / restaurants / coffee / the bus: I'm not a big fan when people are in the Starbucks line in front of me yelling into their iphone something annoying like: "Hey man what's up? What are you doing? Nothing. You? Getting coffee." OR "I'm soooo hungover...Ozzies was crazy last night...Phi Beta Sigz were in da house!" OR "What? What? I can't hear y...you...you're breaking up" Or any other needless banter. I can't tell you how many times I've ridden the bus with that one person who thinks it is cool to use their cell phone, interrupting the peace of all other riders. To those guilty of this: Do you or don't you realize that everyone else on the bus now knows about the appointment you're making to check out that rash, how your boss has you down and you hate your job, or how your ailing grandma is doing? Spare me! So at least I'll consider YOU when I talk...hence my rule here.

2. When call involves quick coordination - Anything that involves a one or two word response to such things as: What time to meet up for happy hour? Who's coming? What's the address? Doesn't require a call. Because it takes more time to dial, connect, and talk than for my text message to hit your handheld. And if the individual you're trying to contact follows Rule #1, well, then we have a problem, don't we?

3. When you want to avoid getting cancer - Ha! But seriously, doctors are beginning to warn the public about this, although the Cell Phone Business Association of America doesn't think anything is wrong with putting a microwave emitting device up to your ear for prolonged periods of time. Whatever. Well I don't want my ear to start looking like John McCain's cheek.

* If you are texting while doing any of the following YOU'RE A MORON: (article and poll from today on msnbc.com)

Anything at the Gym
Driving (unless of course you're in the state of Washington, where you can't talk while driving so texting a bit more discreet, although illegal as well)
Walking
Running
Rollerblading
Riding a bicycle
Riding a unicycle
Riding a horse
Riding a lawn mower
Tennis
Putting on makeup
Cooking
Karate
Shaving
Sex

LIFE CHECK: When to be Wary of the House Next Door

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A few guidelines on when you should be alarmed at who's living next door. These MAY or MAY NOT be true to where I live...I'll leave that up to you. Consider what applies, and if any, be thankful you're a renter (temporary) versus just having plunked down all of your savings towards that "nice house on the block."


- You can't remember the last time you saw the same person come in or out.

- Mystery smells frequently waft over the fence. Described to you as "something's definitely going on over there."

- When you witness a ouija board being carried inside.

- Little shop of horrors has taken over their "garden" and tunnel under your fence.

- Neighbors often seen climbing on roof with beers on nights other than July 4th.

- Lawn was scrapped years ago for small dirt field.

- They supposedly pay to receive the newspaper but never seem to retrieve it from the driveway...and the collection grows.

- You begin to question how they hold jobs given the schedules they live by.

- They have given a new meaning to duplex: Your house has one front door, theirs: four.
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NEWS: Giuliani's Son is a Baby and Brett Favre: Do We Care?

Alert, Alert! The ill-thought-out lawsuit of the day goes to Rudy Giuliani's son, Andrew Giuliani. (I should mention that Rudy is a former mayor of New York City AND a "I failed miserably" presidential candidate)

So Andrew Giuliani is suing Duke University over wrongful dismissal from its golf team. The coach had to cut the team down to 13 players (from what I don't know, so how good Andrew really is, well isn't apparent) and poor Andrew didn't make that list. So in 198 pages of what I'm sure is mind numbling bafoonery, he's suing, claiming getting cut from the Duke University golf team interferes with his "plans to become a professional golfer."

HELLO? Andrew, buddy, IF you want to be a professional golfer, you don't have to go to college to do that. College sports involve my word of the day: AMATEURS. If you are really THAT GOOD, well you could drop everything (including your classes, binge drinking, and sketchy hookups) and leave Durham, NC immediately for the pros. Because if you are THAT GOOD, you can apply for that tour card pronto. (Think of guy named Tiger and school named Stanford.) Being on some collegiate golf team doesn't equate to becoming a professional later, only that you received some cushy athletic scholarship to help pad your personal finances post graduation in that cushy career you'll get for being the former major of New York City's son.

* If he wins this lawsuit, every person who's been fired has grounds to sue his or her former employer because getting canned "interfered with plans of being CEO"

MY VERDICT:

"Your honor, objection to grounds of lawsuit."

"SUSTAINED."


Also just reported: "Report: Brett Favre does not have Packers issued cell phone"

Wow, this is definitely front page worthy (it was at 9:35 AM on espn.com)...Is anyone following la saga de Favre to this level of detail? If the jr. reporter couldn't immediately post this on the internet and had to put it in print, I think he would have thought twice about the waste of time it is.

Tomorrow's headline: "Report: Brett Favre didn't take pee in Packers locker room"

MY TOP TEN: Indications our Economy is in Shambles

National Forest Service's Economic Recession Danger Level:

(Smokey says: "remember kids, times are TOUGH!")

#10 - Your company's loss per share is greater than its stock price.

#9 - Bars have scaled back Happy Hour to 1 hour only and have removed the late night session entirely.

#8 - Your Home Equity Line of Credit gets revoked while you're on the way to Best Buy for that new flat screen.

#7 - You consider either not smoking or not driving. (gallon of gas = pack of cigarettes)

#6 - The interest rate on your credit card approaches 30% because your credit score dipped below 720.

#5 - Dinner at TGI Friday's is now gourmet.

#4 - You begin scheming on how to use slugs at the laundromat again, like you did in college.

#3 - You have to walk across the street, because your usual Starbucks was closed.

#2 - You hear more about "the Fed" than "K-Fed" in the news.

#1 - The guy getting ready next to you at the gym has drug store brand toothpaste in his dop kit.

Choice Summer Cocktails

Ahhh the summer. I think it's finally here in Seattle...
Nothing inspires happy hours more than a little afternoon sun. For locales, see list of "decks." Here's my favorite summer cocktails:

Mojito:
a traditional Cuban highball cocktail
degree of mixology difficulty: 3 out of 5

1.5 oz rum
12 fresh spearmint leaves
1/2 lime / Rose's sweetened lime juice
7 oz club soda'
2 tbsp. simple syrup(or 4 tsp. sugar)

* Bartender made E-Z: roll up mint leaves tightly to release flavor and cut roll into narrow slices. Combine sliced mint, rum, and sliced lime to a highball glass. Add a few cubes of ice and crush well with the mixture. Add soda water and sweeten to taste with Rose's or simple syrup or powdered sugar.


* While enjoying: queue Afro-Cuban sounds and don your best Che' tee

Sangria:
a wine punch from Spain and Portugal
degree of mixology difficulty: 3.5 out of 5

Per 1 gallon of sangria: (and this recipe is by no means scientific)
1 bottle of red wine, preferably a cabernet (not too heavy in taste)
1 bottle of rose'
some white wine (a cup or two)
1/2 cup ginger ale
1/2 cup orange juice
can of pineapple, sliced with juices
5 oz vodka
2 limes - sliced
2 oranges - sliced
1 lemon - sliced
1 cup sliced strawberries


* Bartender made E-Z: Best when prepared 24 to 48 hours before drinking. Combine all sliced citrus fruit, pineapple, orange juice and wine into an iced tea jug. Squeeze citrus slightly when adding to get juices out. Put into fridge and mix every couple of hours. After about 12 hours, add strawberries and vodka. Liquor to taste. Continue to mix and keep in fridge. Before serving, add ginger ale and sweeten to taste with sugar. Serve over ice.


Caipirinha:
national drink of Brazil / national drink of Inigo Rodriguez
degree of mixology difficulty: 2.5 out of 5
degree of sugar content: high

2 tsp Granulated Sugar
1 Lime (8 Wedges)
2 1/2 oz Cachaca (product of distilled sugarcane juice)

* Bartender made E-Z: Muddle the sugar into the lime wedges in an old fashioned glass. Fill the glass with ice cubes, add Cachaca and stir well.


* Best enjoyed while watching Brazil's national game or the Superclasico (screaming at tele)

(thanks to Jordon for suggesting this one after his recent trip of company sponsored debauchery)

YOUR TAKE: Oklahoma City "Thunder"

News just in from the the professional monopolistic sports league controlled by David Stern: the former Sonics basketball team will be called the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Q1: Is the new name cool? Or does it sound like something out of the WNBA or the XFL? And does it make sense?

Seattle = Boeing = Supersonic = the Sonics. (checks out)
vs.
Oklahoma City = Cowboys = Cattle Rustlers = Team Rustlers? ($#%@?)

Q2: Does Clay Bennett look like Bryant "Big Country" Reeves (former OK St. "standout", the NBA definition of mediocrity)? (that's if CB gained about 40 lbs) Or does he simply just have the same #2 haircut?



Q3: Still bitter?

* A good point I overheard at happy hour: It seems to me with the history of the NBA, that the league would have done everything to preserve its legacy. (for example the NBA logo = Jerry West, not Jordan, Kobe, or LeBron) Preserving history should have been of the utmost importance. The 41 years in Seattle for that matter. But it wasn't.

Absolutely brilliant quotes by Clay Bennett:

1. "We're already investing in an economic model that doesn't provide a return" Seattle Times Interview, May 20th, 2007.

* This makes little to no sense coming from a businessman. Put it simply: if I said this at work, I'd get FIRED. An investment is never undertaken without some projection of a return. Otherwise, there's no point. They teach that fact to elementary age Junior Achievement students! (Clay was responding to a question about why his group doesn't pony up some of the money to get a $500 million arena in Renton, WA)

I can't believe what he said here. What I can believe is that with an investment of this magnitude that he had ample financial analysts and bankers there to develop a financial model for the business. And further they determined the cost of the lease in Seattle WASN'T the main reason the team lost money...given the annual lease cost in Seattle was around the same amount as what we paid for Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis. (the real truth is "winning" in SEA or "only game in town" in OKC = profitability) Let's face it folks, the NBA is a broken business model.

* As for the coming Howard Schultz / Yarmuth lawsuit I wish I could say to Clay & Co. like Ivan Drago did in Rocky IV, "You will lose" but I can't. For now, THE TEAM IS GONE. In the meantime, Schultzy should close all Starbucks in the "Big Friendly" city.

"Reality TV": The Best and Worst Shows Ever

The first Reality TV show I can remember growing up was COPS (of "Bad Boys" theme song fame) but it didn't seem much the "social experiment" that these shows have come to be today. It was more along the lines of "street cop is followed by man holding camcorder" and 1. was never filmed in the day and 2. criminal frequently shirtless. Why was that? The first of the social experiment genre to me was MTV's Real World New York around 1990...remember that one?

Note to Readers: Slight RANT to follow

I'll admit that I'm not a fan of reality television at all. I think it's just needless competition and somewhat scripted drama for the amusement of fans. And there's not much redeeming value other than entertainment...(if you can all remember William Hung on "American Idol", you catch my drift). Even the creator of CBS's "Survivor" admits the shows aren't entirely "reality" because the producers create the situations the contestants are put in. But don't let me change your TV viewing habits...

So here's my list of the BEST (maybe OK is better fitting) and WORST shows reality TV has spawned:

WORST:

#1: Temptation Island (absolute worst) - this was a cross between a Sandals resort ad and soft porn...and the host is almost as cool as Marky Mark (Mark L. Walberg)

#2: Flavor of Love - Hey Flav, what time is it? Anything with Flavor Flav should make you consider this guy sang "9-1-1 is a Joke" and wore timepiece necklaces..."It's the Flav-a, Life Save-a"?

#3: The Apprentice - the way that the contestants approach business siutations is entirely unrealistic. And in "reality" you succeed in business only when you work together as a team. Not eliminate each other. Furthermore, who wants to look at the boardroom scenes when Trump's "comb over" is the size of a wave on the North Shore of Hawaii?

#4: Bachelor / Bachelorette - All you have to ask yourself is: how many "couples" have actually made it with this one? Contestants vying for their mate usually contain ample evidence of "baggage" or "skeletons in the closet." This show is like a glorified "ElimiDate" (which receives unhonorable mention)

#5: The Swan - just Google "swan before and after photos" and you'll see why. SCARY!

BEST: (or Of Containing Some Redeeming Value)

#1: Biggest Loser - I call this the "life-spent-television-watching offset show." However any time you have contestants trying to lose weight it's altogether a good thing. There's a lot of emotion with the contestants...because the results are truly a life changer.

#2: Extreme Makeover - Home Edition - again, this is a life changer. It definitely makes a difference. Although my one gripe with this show is that they help only 1 family per episode but if they would scale down the 5+ flat screens, designer faucets, and 6 bedrooms they provide for them, then maybe they could help 2 or more families. (My other one is that main host guy gets so fired up he seems to turn purple.)

Of course, it is likely very few will watch if the average suburban dwelling were built for the family:

"Daddy, look! They saved that family cause Grimace and crew built a house for them just like ours!"

*** More to Follow ***

What NOT TO DO at the range or on the course...

For all those duffers, semi-professionals, or weekend warriors, here's a collection of what NOT TO DO with a golf swing. While I by no means have a perfect swing (far from it)...this collection of videos will make any golfer feel better about any chunked, duffed, bladed, sliced, or hooked golf shot.

#1 And the list starts with Sir Charles Barkley. Perhaps the most famous person with the most famous worst swing. It's downright crap. For all this guy's famous friends, money, and free time you would think he could complete a golf swing without something like three hitches in it. (Count 'em). It doesn't take Butch Harmon to analyze this one...I can't even figure out in this picture if he's on his take-back or his down-swing. But his weight is about 80% on his front foot and both knees are bent like he's ready to spring for a rebound. Reality to Chuck: WRONG SPORT. This is just rubbish.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU

*WEB HINT: all you have to do is google "worst golf swing" (proper boolean not required) and it takes you straight to Chuck. HA! Googling "best basketball player" during Barkley's career would have taken you straight to Michael Jordan...but only now is Sir Charles in a class of his own!

>>>To my opinions here, "I may be wrong, but I doubt it."

EPL

8.16.08

Just one month to start of the English Premier League campaign.

EPL TRIVIA: 42 teams have competed in the EPL at one time or another (think promotion / relegation). 20 teams play in it per season. But only FOUR teams have won the championship:

Arsenal
Blackburn Rovers
Chelsea
Manchester United

I'd say that's an interesting fact.

This point is definitely debatable but many regard the Premiership as the preeminent Eurpean football league, surpassing Italy's Serie A and Spain's La Liga.

WHO IS THIS GUY? mikel arteta

"It's still my ambition to play for Spain."

Now hopefully this guy will get the 2010 call up for his country (because the '08 Euro final was pretty poor)...he's likely the best footballer you've never heard of. Mikel Arteta currently plays for Everton in the EPL... I caught glimpse of him after I saw his '06 goal versus Bolton and it still gives me chills...and is one of the best I've ever seen if you view it as a highlight, not some grainy-YouTube-video-set-to-music Production. Unfortunately, that's all I have at the moment. See the goal here: (it's the first goal in) The way he transfers the ball between feet before shooting is ridiculous. and left footed at that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gME3L9nVt3M

UPDATE: alright here it is...and I went DEEP into YouTube to find it. FFwd to 2:30. The announcer's words say it all..."one to watch again and again"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXYEoaGAmC4&feature=related

'08 Election Video from JibJab.com

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Calorie Sticker Shock

I really can't title this posting any more creatively than MSNBC did...Oh well.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25464987/

My hats off to New York City for requiring eateries to post the calories on their food products to customers. I've been saying for years that if you regularly consume any food product in the glass case at Starbucks "you'll begin to wear it over time." (Further, that any "coffee drink" that takes more than 3 seconds to order is in the same category.) I call it the "Starbucks 10" similar to college's "Freshman 10." I surmise that once restaurants start to lose customers to your Aunt Bee's home cookin, you'll see calorie counts detailed in small print.

Common complaint: "Son of a...Why can't I lose weight? I go to the gym 4 times a week and eat this here pecan crusted chicken salad from TGI Fridays and wash it down with a Two Pump, Extra Whip, one Splenda Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks every day!!!"

(read: gym < "healthy salad" + "fancy SBUX") Sounds as if similar laws are set to go into effect in the Emerald City.

YOUR TAKE: A Long Lost Twin Brother?

Do any of these famous / semi-famous people resemble each other: (Come on, I'm not the first one to suggest. Or am I?) Includes LINK O' DAY

...Take a look. Comments?


1. Alexander Hleb (Belarus soccer player) and Willem Dafoe (Actor, Klaus in Life Aquatic)













2. Michael Ballack (German / Chelsea soccer player) and Marky Mark Wahlberg (of Funky Bunch fame, not-so-famous song: "Good Vibrations")














3. Kyle Korver (NBA, Jazz) and Ashton Kutcher (Actor in terrible films, also Bruce Willis "thorn in side")












* LINK O' DAY: In honor of my list, I give you:

http://www.splitting-images.com/celebrity_list.html

Now I must admit, some of these are pretty good (V. Beckham, Ricky Gervais, B. Spears ones) but some suck (Eric Cantona, Paris Hilton)...Have a look! BTW, the woman who used to cut my hair looked just like P. Hilton.

**JUST ADDED: (my 2nd tier LINK O' DAY):

http://www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com/

FOOTIE NEWS: Ronaldinho to AC Milan

News just in that Ronaldinho will be transfered to AC Milan in Serie A for 21M Euros or about $33M US. While he may not be the best looking player on the field (he looks like Dave Chappelle playing Rick James), Ronaldinho's footie skills more than compensate for his lack of looks. (Compare picture to link to highlights)

This definitely boosts the Rossoneri...(that's Italian for red-black or AC Milan)

In other news:

1. Former US Captain Claudio Reyna has just announced his retirement from MLS due to nagging injuries.

2. Sepp Blatter of FIFA has come up with a list of three potential alternate sites for the next World Cup in 2010 if South Africa cannot host it. There have been concerns of security and finishing stadiums. But this alternate list has not been made public, only that "it exists." Germany isn't on the list (brilliant, let's have the World Cup at the same location TWICE IN A ROW), but Mexico has already come forward saying that would be ready to host. No confirm if England (host of '66) is on the list. (Hey, at least England WILL QUALIFY...confused? think Euro '08.)

3. Sepp's a bold dude. Or at least that's my take. He also has stated that ManU should release Cristiano Ronaldo (dos Santos Aveiro) to Real Madrid IF he wants to go there...who is this guy? Sepp of FIFA to anyone: "All soccer refs should wear skirts now. Why? because I said so!"....."Poof! It is so...YOU ARE ALL MY PUPPETS!"

Big Step Forward

Our wedding invites went out this morning. Relieved that is finished. Last night felt like "Kiersten and Jason craft night" getting those things ready... So for those of you planning a wedding (No one I know, although see right) make sure you get a couple of post office quotes on how much postage will be. We got a high estimate and affixed postage based on it, only to find out we could have saved a ton if Mr. Postman knew what he was doing. (a/k/a value to reading my blog)

(disclaimer: reading this does not translate to an e-invite)

Monday, July 14th YOUR TAKE

I'm back from a trip to Winchester, Virginia. (more on that later). Glancing at the headlines this AM, there's been a lot of news since I left. I'm curious as to what you make as the biggest news story in the past 5 days: Your choices (in no certain order):

1. Tony Snow's passing...former White House Press Secretary
2. US Financial Woes wreak havoc on banking stocks...WaMu down 35% Monday
3. 2008 MLB Allstar break...is there one Mariner in the lineup?
4. Budweiser being sold to a Belgian company? HUH? An iconic American brand gets sold overseas? What's next? McDonalds to an Indian Company? (new name: McMumbai) Your opinion on what will happen to the brand? Will Bud become a "cheap version of Stella"? (another Belgian brand)
5. Madonna and A-Rod...despite the 2008 All Star game being held in New York this week and this being the last year of the old Yankee stadium, THIS story made front page headlines in NY papers today.
6. i phone glitches...for all you techies who "waited in line for coolness" over the weekend.

Your take? Feel free to comment.

Testing, testing...1,2,3

Hello? Anybody out there? Alright testing if this thing works. Site Hits: ZERO. Never blogged before. I think this will give me a "creative outlet" for my thoughts, feelings, passions, frustrations...in life. There are many. My thought is that this will morph into something useful for well, somebody out there...My aim is to chronicle my life...but we'll see how this goes. I'd say I'm an interesting / unique guy and we'll see if putting it out there in "e-world" will be fully fully representative of who I am. Site Hits: ZERO (still) Awesome. Ciao.